Bob Hope’s Star-Studded Spoof of the New TV Season

Nearly a year after appearing in her first Bob Hope special and her record-breaking appearance as Helena Cassadine on General Hospital, she starred in a spoof sketch of the show called “Not So General Hospital” for Bob Hope’s Star-Studded Spoof of the New TV Season, which aired October 3, 1982.

In her introduction to the sketch, Dynasty’s Linda Evans set the scene: “In this powerful drama, Bob will be playing opposite one of the most exciting actresses ever to step before a camera: Elizabeth Taylor.”

Elizabeth plays Nurse Melanie Sanderson, who’s getting hot and heavy with the Doctor (Hope). The two are more interested in discussing their plans for a romantic getaway to Acupulco than tending to the man on the operating table. Once the operation is finally underway, another physician, played by Glenn Ford, enters the operating room, unbeknownst to Hope. It turns out that Nurse Sanderson is carrying on with him, too, and they’re also planning to jet off to Acapulco. Hope thinks their lovers’ chatter is just a TV going in the background (“Will you please turn off that TV,” he says. “I can’t listen to soap operas while I’m operating.”) Moments later, another physician emerges from behind a screen, this time played by Elizabeth’s General Hospital co-star Tony Geary. Yes, you guessed it, they’re also getting hot and heavy and planning to go to Acapulco. Then, operation complete, the patient, who has been concealed throughout the procedure, throws off the sheet. It turns out to be none other than Richard Burton! Miraculously recovered, he gets off the operating table, locks eyes with Nurse Sanderson, and the two share a passionate kiss.

“Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute,” Hope interrupts. “What’s happening? Where are you going?” “Well, one thing’s for sure. It’s not going to be Acapulco,” Nurse Sanderson says. Elizabeth and Richard look at each other, both suggest “Puerto Vallarta?” in unison, and walk out of the operating room arm in arm. (Puerto Vallarta was, of course, where the Burtons owned a home for many years.)

Writer Richard L. Mills later recalled how Richard’s involvement came about: “In our original sketch, the ‘patient’ on the table was a bit player with whom, in our story, Liz was also having an affair. During rehearsal, Richard Burton arrived on the set to pick up his [former] wife for lunch. We all looked at him with the same idea. Would he mind lying on the table for a few minutes? We’d write a few lines for him and, since he hadn’t been booked on the show, would surprise an audience who had no inkling he was in town. Burton was a big fan of Hope’s and a good sport. He agreed and provided us with a blackout the likes of which writers can only dream.”

According to UPI, Elizabeth and Richard “spent hours chatting in Taylor’s dressing room between shooting scenes for seven hours at the network’s Burbank studios.” The two had recently announced their plans to reunite onstage in Private Lives, so this surprise appearance was wonderful publicity for the play.